How to Handle Anger in Children - After Divorce

My better half is very interested in my work and my research, as you probably know he is co-author of my book "From Havoc to Heaven - How to handle Anger in Children". (You can get a free copy at http://stepfamilyheaven.com/). Since I am ranking quite well with my page, he started comparing other sites to our own, and sometimes he stumbles on real good information. I will share with you what we consider to be useful, because our intent is to help as many children and parents as we can. The following description was what he found on psychpage.com. (adapted)

Effects of Parental Divorce on Children of Varying Ages

Preschool (2.5 to 6 years)

Initial reactions: Preschool children are much more likely to blame themselves for the divorce; also likely to fear abandonment by the remaining parent. They may be confused, have fantasies about reconciliation, and show difficulties in expressing their feelings. Boys and girls have different kinds of problems as a result of the divorce.
Later reactions (2-10 years after the divorce): Preschool kids are more likely to have fewer memories of either their own or their parents' earlier conflict; they are generally close to custodial parent and a competent step-parent. May feel anger at an unavailable non-custodial parent that prevents a strong adult relationship.

Elementary School (7 to 12 years)
Initial reactions: Tend to express feelings of sadness, fear, and anger. They are less likely to blame themselves, but more likely to feel divided loyalties. They are better able to use extra-familial support. There is some support for placing children with their same-sex parent for best adjustment.
Later reactions: Tend to have the most difficulties in adapting to step-parenting and remarriage; may challenge family rules and regulations, and throw back "You're not my real father/mother" during conflict. They tend to show decreased academic performance and disturbed peer relations.

Adolescence (13 to 18 years)
Initial reactions: Show difficulty coping with anger, outrage, shame, and sadness; they are more likely to reexamine their own values, and may disengage from the family to do this.
Later reactions: Shares feelings of the 7 to 12 group but may not be able to express them. May fear long-term relationships with others, and show adjustment difficulties such as running away, truancy, and delinquency.

In the meantime my ex-husband, my daughter's father is staying with us for 10 days. We are actually having a good time together. My husband and my ex-husband get on very well, and my daughter adores it when everyone is together. The two men discussed this morning over coffee, that they should write a book together, about the dos and dont's after divorce. I actually think that they are a very good example of how things can work out, and I feel very fortunate to be the "woman in the middle" of these two wonderful men. My ex-husband realised that he really wants to make a difference for divorced fathers, who are in desperation about their relationship with their children. It is really great to see that we both came out of our marriage with a strong drive to help others in similar situations!